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Mailman Legs

by Cpt. Bisquick

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1.
2.
Drinking Cup 04:00
Wallowing in self deprecation is about as good as Catching up on sleep deprivation like you know you shouldn't Use excessive similes to relate to opportunities So dead and gone that they've cultured a family of worms It's not you, it's me and the way I treat myself the way I do Amidst these complications Cause what are my brain cells compared to the hours spent Wondering whether you'd show up and turn me around? I'm not ashamed of the way you move me, still There's not a glimmer of hope from which I'll get my fill So hold it up: your drinking cup, and steer the course downhill Hold it up: your drinking cup and kill Hi. I mispronounced your name Is this why you're not the same as when we introduced a vaguely prostituted misconception? So conjure up the obsolete when I ascertain verbatim Whatever in the fuck that means; full of arbitrary jargon Or is it all the garbage that creeps above the can That determines if I'm hardly able to hold my anger in But I'm not ashamed of the way you move me, still There's not a glimmer of hope from which I'll get my fill So hold it up: your drinking cup, and steer the course downhill Hold it up: your drinking cup and kill Kill.
3.
Kickstart my day into a mood If I tried to blame it on my dad I’m awful Set long term plans on fire And take a bow as the critics call you “asshole” Waiting for the words to come around As I squirm away to avoid another mouthful Suave shandy in my palms Makes my cerebration much more palpable Gotta lotta words on nothing And the nothing I am But I won’t count on you to understand Lost in a sea of thought And I’m drowning as some existential has been Thank god my leash been cut So I can’t succumb to honky tunnel vision Gotta lotta words on nothing And most of them are “damn it” But I couldn’t quite count on you to understand it The hues of blues Touch down when my impatience makes you red Like I said Putting out the trash can of love You’ll find me skulking for a new contestant Sentimental Bernie Madoff A Ponzi Scheme as quickly as you guessed it Gotta lotta words for nothing A lot of ways to agree Zilch, forever’s the right approach for me I put it all together in St. Augustine I’ll come back down like a constipated guillotine Zilch, forever. I mean what I mean
4.
David Byrne 04:35
Shyann, I’m sorry, man And I’ll do what I can to pay you back sometime Every thought I had to share was better when you said it A lesson often heard, yet to be learned, a creeping sentiment too true The color of the curtains and your face are turning red And you’ve half a thousand pretty pictures leaking out your head Sweet bean, you know what I mean It hurts to see someone you admire so much so vulnerable Every hug before we met was waiting to be over These accidental deprecations are your fifty ways to love a loser But you deserve much better, often scared I can’t deliver These jumbled nerves will sort themselves behind a cigarette As thoughts of how you hate my guts produce a slight Tourette Still I love Dave Byrne, the way that he sings These are two of my favorite things And I swear I swear a lot No bread on the table, no bacon up my sleeves And I could starve half a lifetime; still I’d pay to watch you eat However long I live may not constitute a lifetime Sleep when you’re dead, you posthumous bedhead I still swim like a waterbug Paddling to exhaustion, don’t get anywhere still I love Still I love Dave Byrne, the way that he sings These are two of my favorite things And I swear I swear a lot The simpleton inside me can’t decipher what comes next An adolescent-like plateau; development arrest. Still I love
5.
Your hands are tied My ears are dead Broken tape and food for the birds A skipping record in the back of my head These kids are your world and the world is your oyster Don’t let em watch you bleed Leave, [party], leave Monotonous business for busy bees Gossip hangs like lipsnot on a baby Til its mom comes to wipe it clean Tongue-tied and useless With reckless abandon And soft serve sympathies Leave, [party], Leave Your unwillingness to hear my needs and discomfort should not become a blind black hole with zero deductive reasoning usurping sunlight from the end of my day I’m glad to lend advice to help you sort yourself out But it’s much too much, so I gotta go away-S.A.P The weight of the world shouldn’t land on your shoulders So forget those diocese Leave, [party], Leave
6.
7.
Sometimes you make me giggle Hiding comments to myself When I see doing those same old things That remind me of your mental health Be well Take care of yourself I hope you’re feeling better No one should be unwell Your rage shouldn’t be empowering But that’s yours in which to dwell So be well Take care of yourself I’m glad you have my number Remembering what we shared Don’t be a stranger When I see you sittin' with a victim’s disposition I have no option but to sit back and stare So take care Be good to yourself Be well Take care of yourself Be well
8.
Hey, I’ll be here in the bathroom Putting my life on hold Making plans to share it with you But since I had that vivid dream Where you worked in ultimatums, this thing has grown so mean I cried out but you were never listening Hey, could we slow down for a moment As we boast our supposed good teamwork It’s not quite that chauvinistic Still in my skin, yet idealized A kind repudiation we oft romanticize Is such trash it’s drawing flies Stowed away for safety Pandemic’s come to town But when I think of you or hanging myself My feet don’t touch the ground As often as one’s feedback counts Your bias fuels this doubt. Think I’ll just have to sit this one out Oh yeah, oh my god yeah that feels so good, thank you. My counselor says I’m not that toxic
9.
I’ve been wandering for a while Loving all the wrong faces of loose-lipped impatience Long-gone and often beguiled Nihilistically amusing, here to blur the lines between The impetus of reprimand and what remains of being a child My brain’s in disarray I’m begging you to hang out a little while longer Cause when you’re in my arms I’ll smile, mood, smile face à face, j'aime ton trou du cul amoureux Its kisses embrace a warmth so versatile Well-versed intentions brimming splendidly with the means Of the countless equations on sunburst sensations for this feeling juvenile The clock is screaming at 3am Still my heart’s acting like it’s high on amphetamines Cause when I’m in your eyes I’ll smile, with you I’m smiling
10.
Tuul 03:59
Simulating sickness through synthetic cigarettes Standing at your day job, sizzling with the stress Hardening your arteries with Shakespearean philosophies As glycerine-filled cavities shout out some strange reality from deep inside your chest Clutching sentiment for a battery, you tool You tool. Sleazy little smokestacks tickling broken ribs I was taking care of myself on the weekends, or every other weekend Or every third weekend, I forget An artificial artifact of a modern man-made cataract Gambling on contingency; not knowing what’s to come It’s so chic I’m not well A fondness for some smell, you tool You tool. Lately it’s occurred to me How life can move so precariously Fragile and soft, replicating my fertility An overly heartfelt thought One I’d never want to leave An open-ended monologue, permanently catalogued Caresses and coerces me into an early grave You tool.
11.
12.
I can never tell if an inherent red evil is looking through these bloodshot eyes at you But you’re still so beautiful And I’m a beautiful-of-it too And the feeling might be mutual But you’re still so beauti-full of it What can I do? The things I think, but rarely can confirm A philosophy on lessons often over-learned And I’m tickled pink with other thoughts left to discern Like who I hang around when there are bridges left to burn The TV screams “don’t condescend me” Paul Rudd Type #2 You want them to be perfect And you want them to be cute And you want them to remind you of everything but you The format proves timeless as the script grows old Projecting random fantasies on stories over-told As any other plebian may have been so sold And no other love could quite do All the things you love with all the things I’m thinking of Makes too many things; that’s an awful lot of stuff So I’ve been thinking things; like how I feel I’m not enough I’d like to stick around, but no, goodbye, good luck Don’t bitch about football. Take a knee Don’t fret about Mexico, Istanbul or Greece Cause if you can’t let it go, They’ll watch you bleed As you stab your neighbor anxiously Don’t worry about football. In quarantine, this music was my friend A little part of me never wanted it to end Per your inquiry, well I really can’t defend Per how I’m really feeling; couldn’t tell you where or when
13.
High in the branches of the Caterpillar tree Safe, nicely nestled in my fuzzy canopy The stability; relativity A good civility holds me tight like a bug Yeah I’m all right now Its leaves, they look like handouts on the bark’s contingency A fruitful beard of moss decides which way it plants its seeds A good totality for the morality Of what’s to come for me, when the vines hang too low Yeah I’m all right for now Yeah I’ll be all right, mama Why do birds fly through and dabble with the wizardry that is my caterpillar tree? When won’t birds infringe and crash the fun so subsequently in my caterpillar tree? Its roots are getting brittle from this bout of poverty An ancient adage proving its impoverished pedigree Adaptability? This debt is killing me Surefire sterility sheds the warmth of the sun Am I all right now? Am I all right, mama? Why do birds fly through and dabble with the wizardry that is my caterpillar tree? Why are birds obsessed with pecking the life out of me in my caterpillar tree? When I’m dead, will birds stop chirping for what’s left of me and leave it for the caterpillar tree?
14.
Algernon 03:33
Trying simply, if there’s no shame It’d be nice to find some friends who agree It’s something stupid. We’re all the same Another pill to help see the forest for the trees Maybe this time, wake up early Start working through some subtle disease No time to focus, it’s hard to read A line of anecdotal interruptions, nervous laughs and all that secedes Everyone is smiling at the beauty all around while I’m overly fixated on the color of the sound But you’re still down and even if I weren’t a monster We’re together. We still have each other And I love you, dear Under the table, the drugs were free Was it worth it working out the lineup, picking which people to want to be of who’s most happy I don’t want to lie. I have no idea where I’m going Contemporary rhetoric parades as each anonymous alcoholic gets better with a team The days aren’t getting shorter, there’s just fewer of them left As every one in passing may compete to be the best And when my faithlessness screws the rest, you’re still beside me. We’re together. We still have each other And I love you, dear Persevering past convictions, daunting thoughts and phantom fears Start pituitary war when my next failure’s drawing nearer But you’re still here and even if I weren’t a monster, We’re together. We still have each other And I love you, dear
15.
Lapdog 03:33
If dogs dream in color Then I dream in memes And if I have another, I'll be writing a language I can't read The lonely in you in the best in me I'm happiest; when I'm thin, To sit quietly at the foot of your bed And hear your ramble as I grin I'm still listenin' I'll be your lapdog Make you quesadillas with extra cheese After a long, long day of waiting for you by the door I love to watch you watch your movies I wanna keep you happy Exhibit art outta balloons and brew your coffee But I know you won't want me forever So I love to watch you watch your movies.

about

For Theo. A special thanks to every friend. Here's to good company.

Recorded in a library and a closet.

credits

released February 22, 2022

Engineered by Graham Albright and Ben DeUrso

Mixed by Justin Murrill*, Jamie Rowe** and Graham Albright

Mastered by Jamie Rowe



- Performing Credits -


Ben DeUrso: drum kit, percussion, backing vocals

Graham Albright: acoustic guitar, electric guitars, electric bass, lead vocal, backing vocals, vocal harmony, mandolin, glockenspiel, synths

Chris Faria: percussion †

Kamen Ross: piano, organ, backing vocals, autoharp

Bradford Beard: ukulele, dulcimer, acoustic slide guitar, clarinet, saxophone

Daniel Gaudynski: upright bass §

Julia Cannon: backing vocals, vocal harmonies ‡

Jake Herbster: vocal harmony ¶

Army of Mermaids: backing vocals, vocal harmonies ♥

Kailey Zercher: violin I, violin II
Isaac Shultz: viola
Sam Clark-McHale: cello

Davidson Weston: backing vocals, electric guitar ||

"Caterpillar Tree" orchestra arranged by Cpt. Bisquick, recorded May 2018


* tracks 3, 13 & 14
** track 2
† tracks 12 & 15
‡ tracks 3, 8 & 9
§ tracks 8 & 9
¶ tracks 3 & 15
|| tracks 14 & 15
♥ tracks 13 & 15

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Cpt. Bisquick Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Dave Byrne, the way that he sings: these are two of my favorite things.

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